Sunday, 12 April 2015


Not many men around the world would understand why anyone, especially a lady would occasionally buy a ticket plus bucket of popcorn and sit down to watch an evening show-alone. Even a lesser percentage of Indian men, and lesser still of born & bred South.  Not even if they knew the lady in question has been in past been indulging in her love affair of winding out after work watching moving pictures in a darkened , chilled theater- especially in summer.

Unfortunately what I failed to comprehend is why exactly- IS that a cause of concern? Or worse how the hell does it reflect on the integrity & character of the lady in question? Does one have loose morals or lack of common sense by simply having the guts to god-dimmit watch night show?

Just because of the circumstances of not having willing friends and lack of time to watch an afternoon show, should we be bounded by some illogical rules of common society and avoid seeing an evening show? Hello!! While I would deeply be glad if I did have friends who would join me for a after work dinner & movie- too bad, I don’t. Still as far as I’m concerned that’s no reason to Not watch a movie.     

I go to the movies, because I can. There was a time in life when I had zero paisa to feed myself properly and I had to often walk miles home to utilize the bus fare to instead buy 200gms of poha for dinner and pass by numerous billboards advertising all the latest releases and recall my earlier days when I used to skip school to go to work and watch a film. Now having a relative decent job with it’s decent  paycheck, I feel proud of the fact that if I bloody want, I can afford to not hesitate to whip out my card and purchase a movie and a f*%^ing bucket of caramel & cheese popcorn. 

Now for those who dare to judge my character based on my love for cinema, pray do explain to me. How does the lifestyle choice of watching movies alone co-relate to the notion that I must be carefree with my affections towards men? I think it speaks volume about the speakers’ mindset for uttering such a primitive thought-process.  

It’s not a SIN to go to cinema alone. Even if it is a sin, only and alone does GOD have the right to decide. Not mare mortals plagued by insecurity and ego issues.  In fact I don’t even understand why I need to justify myself over such a minor issue.


Having said that for the past month- I watched 3 movies- Kingsmen, Insurgent & The second Marigold Hotel. Kingsmen was….full of blood & gore with a misplaced sense of dark humor. One of the scene wherein scores of men, women heads exploded into smithereens are showcased as fireworks going off. Really? (to the director) Dude, you really need to up your creatively & skill. But for the most important baddie on the dark side (that gorgeous villainous woman) to not have her head explode, even though she too had a chip implanted in her head, only to die of jump, twist, German aristocrat salute and get poisoned to death. ARGH!!!!v WTF!!!! Then for the hero to grab a pair of crystal glassware & Bollinger to meet a princess for some promised anal sex. WTF. WTF!!! I thought for the past 100mins the director was trying to portray the two male & female lead of different classes becoming closer to one another, and kind of end up together in the end. That was just a sloppy hand in finishing the job (no pun intended). The only thing good in it was  Samuel Jackson as the American Valatine. The mad hatter trying to save the planet. I wonder if any pro-Republicans & oil conglomerates crowd funded the production. Just saying. The character seems to be painted with a broad paint brush.
Insurgents was in all honesty, a waste of time. It was all about Shailene Woodley & the role she’s playing. And not very well too. It’s about revenge, and a social experiment. I could not relate to any of the characters- not sure if all of them were mediocre actors or the editor is terrible. Too much time of graphics and too less screen time devoted to human elements. For example the anguish of being responsible for her parents death or hurt felt when the lead’s brother chooses to be the medical head overseeing her torture/experiment. Where was the emotions god dammit?!?!? If someone told me the reason why I live in a divided nation with civil unrest was for a social experiment, I would probably find the asshole who decided so, and give him a punch or two, not run out happily to join rest of humanity. Actually that’s the problem when attempting to bring a book alive. Only a genius director with big budget and competent team can do justice in bringing a bunch of word to life- one clearly lacking in the making of Insurgents. Even the title is wrong, the film’s all about Divergents, not Insugents and I don’t care if the prequels the one named Divergents.
Image result for the second best exotic marigold hotel
Insurgent was so bad that I went to watch another movie the very next day. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. And it is full of veteran actors so it’s a joy to watch. Sure it’s about an exotic old age home/hotel for guests to check in and have the ultimate check out with fountains of pearls of wisdom all over the place. Richard Gere still rocks. His charm has not diminished one whit from 1990’s hit movie “The Pretty Woman”.  Proud to say that even amongst stars like Judi Drench, Maggie Smith, Bill Nighly, Indian’s very own Lillete Dubey shone bright. It’s truly a homage by the director when camera lingers over your face in soft light. Truly thankfull he did so because OH MY GOD, I love each & every piece of jewellery she wore- from the faceted single ruby strand to the array of gorgeous earrings. Dev Patel. I think he does best in serious scenes for it’s abit difficult to believe when he’s supposed to be acting his age.  His best scene is when in the midst of his wedding reception, he searches for his beloved mentor Mrs. Donnelly- who’s (privately) coming to terms with having very little time left, and finds her lying on her bed. Not sure if she’s still alive or dead only to be told to be “piss off’’. Lol. Kush as Dev’s competitor is bland. Although the fact Sunaina can’t see him as a love interest despite dancing to several bolloywood tracks together with a fantastic chemistry is hard to swallow because as Christian Grey crudely put its “the boy is trying to get into her p$%^**” The love story of Everlyn & Douglas could have been elaborated a little more. If only Om puri had taken on the role of the driver, driving Madge between Nimesh & Abiliesh houses. Which incidentally, they  should have had a confrontation if not a brawl over Madge’s affections. Because what is a homage to Bollywood without a fight scene??? For a feel good movie, the ending was sure sad. On one end we have the newly weds off to a honeymoon, being sent off by friends & family (who all have partners) and back at the Marigold Hotel, Mrs. Donnelly is on her solidarity journey to soon meet her maker. We are born alone and we die alone. To ashes & dust we shall all return to Earth..